She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
