I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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