Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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