He felt like a one man threesome
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
