out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
