highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
