I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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