Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
