dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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