this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
