I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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