I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
