well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the day after is always just damage control
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
