Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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