I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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