She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
