After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
