Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
