Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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