...so i touched it.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
