haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
