Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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