Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
