Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
