Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
