Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
