you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
