A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
