That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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