i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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