I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
