So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
