at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
