Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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