It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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