I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
