He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
