apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
