i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
