Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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