If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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