I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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