i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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