i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
