She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
