Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
