You smell like stripper and shame
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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