Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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