I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
