I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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