no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
