Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
